


Remember To Breathe

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Vignette, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-15
Updated: 2003-09-15
Packaged: 2019-04-27 05:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14418807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Goodbye is the hardest word.





	Remember To Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

Remember To Breathe

## Remember To Breathe

### by annaK

Title: Remember To Breathe  
Author: annaK  
Rating: PG-13  
Classification: V, A, MSR  
Spoilers: This is set during the hours before NIHT, and also portrays a missing scene from that episode. Major spoilers for Existence, NIHT, and minor spoilers for the events of Seasons 7 & 8  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.   
Archive: I'd be honored! Just let me know so I can come visit. Summary: Goodbye is the hardest word. 

Many thanks to foxxy and xdks. I couldn't do it without you, gals! 

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Remember To Breathe by annaK

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Moonlight cascaded across the window pane, the glass taking on a mirage effect as the night rolled by. Inside the apartment, the blinds were pulled shut, encasing those within in a warm embrace. Two figures sat entwined on the couch, a small child in between. A family portrait, perfect, domestic bliss. 

"This is nice," she said, snuggling further into Mulder's side. Head on his chest, her whole world was filled with nothing but the sound of his steady heartbeat and their son's quiet snores. 

"Hmm," he agreed, tightening his arm around her. 

They were so quiet, whispering amid the shadows that flickered across them, the fireplace their only light. 

The ringing of the telephone cut through the peaceful air, startling the small child nestled in his mother's arms. 

"I'll get it." Mulder said. 

__

"It's okay baby," Scully soothed. The voice coming from the other room was growing louder by the moment, permeating the soft tones of the apartment. 

As Mulder returned, the simple easiness of minutes before had vanished. His face appeared expressionless. She'd come to recognize it as his 'panic face'. 

He cut off her question with a rushed "It was Kersh" before slumping back next to her. 

"What did he want?" she asked, surprised. 

"Nothing." 

"Didn't sound like it was nothing." 

"It's just... nothing." 

"Mulder." Her voice was stern now. She hated it when he hid things from her. 

"Later, okay." 

"Okay." 

Her brow furrowed in confusion and concern, she placed a warm hand on his arm. _Whatever it is, we'll be okay_ she vowed with her touch. 

William began to fuss, forcing her to break eye contact and turn to the child that lay in her lap. Their miracle. 

"I'm going to go put him down." 

"Okay." 

Mulder reached up, drawing a gentle finger along Will's cheek. He was so soft. 

"Night Will." He whispered before giving the baby a gentle kiss on the nose. One chubby fist reached out to grab at his hair, a silent command; _stay_. 

"Night, night daddy." Scully answered before moving away, carrying their child off to his newly decorated nursery. 

__

When Scully returned, Mulder was sitting with his head in his hands, staring unseeing at the fire place. 

"So, you going to tell me what that was about?" she asked without preamble. 

"It was Kersh." 

"We've established that Mulder. What did he want? You got your job back?!" There was a tease in her voice, but he didn't react. 

"No. He said he heard something. Something about me. Apparently I'm in danger," he replied in monotone. 

"What?" Now she was the one with the panic face. 

He turned to look at her. His eyes, red-rimmed from staring at the flames dancing before him, still held such comfort. They shone with devotion, with love. 

"It's okay. You know what he's like. Probably just trying to scare me." There was a softness in his voice, he was trying to ease her fears. 

"What kind of danger?" 

"He didn't specify." 

"Right. That's it. I'm calling him." 

He was next to her before she made it out of the room, his arms holding her back, gently yet firmly. 

"Scully, don't be stupid." 

"I'm not being stupid. If he said you were in danger, I want to know what kind." There was a challenge in her voice. She was daring him to contradict her, to stand in her way. 

"No." 

"Mulder, let me get to the phone." 

"No." 

"Let me go." 

"No!" 

His shout echoed through the apartment, promptly followed by the screams of an infant, rudely woken from marshmallow dreams. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Scully yelled, eyes wide and indignant. 

"Sorry." He muttered, releasing her. 

__

Mulder was still standing where she left him when she returned from calming Will. His head bowed, hands clenched into fists. 

"Is he okay?" he asked sheepishly when she reached his side. 

"Yeah." 

"Look, I'm sorry." He breathed, turning away before she could establish eye contact. 

"What for?" 

"Kersh said... he said I was in danger if I stayed here. That William was in danger too." The admission was delivered in a rush of air as Mulder sat back down, resuming his former position. Head bowed and eyes forward, he once again began to study the flickering in the fireplace. 

"From who?" 

"From the same people who tried to take him? From some UFO cult he mentioned? I don't know. He just said... he said that you two would be safer if I left." 

_Safer if he left. Better off without him._ Mulder had stated his own beliefs in the same words countless times during her pregnancy. No wonder he looked so lost; shoulders hunched, head downcast, he looked defeated, broken. 

She moved to him, pushing him back against the sofa. Once he was upright, she crawled into his lap, her face buried in his neck, her hair tickling his cheek. 

"You're not going anywhere. I just got you back, Mulder. There is no way that you're going to leave me. Us." She breathed against his skin. 

"They couldn't make me leave you." He tightened his grip around her, crushing her against him. 

They were together. 

__

Mulder was in the bathroom, preparing for bed, when Scully's cell phone started to ring. 

"Scully." She answered, hoping that some idiot wasn't calling her about work. She was on maternity leave, for God's sake. 

Her breath caught in her throat. 

"Who is this? Who are you? No. I'm a federal agent. You come near my son and I swear to God I'll kill you, you son of a bitch. What? No. No!" 

__

"It's not safe for you here." She said the words before she looked at him, knowing that the sight would tear the air from her lungs. 

"What?" 

"You're putting our son in jeopardy if you stay here. I'm sorry. I'm asking you to go." 

There. She'd said it. A thousand emotions tore through her, her insides crumbling behind the steady facade. 

"Why?" The hurt in his voice attacked her walls, his eyes cutting through her barriers like lasers. 

Would he ever forgive her for this, she wondered? 

"It doesn't matter. You'll be safer away from us, and we'll be safer away from you. That's all that counts." 

"Scu..." 

"You should leave as soon as possible. Tomorrow I think." The words were rushed together as if she were saying them with her last breath. It felt like she was dying inside. 

"No." 

"Mul..." 

"I love you." The plea was unspoken. *Everybody's left me. You promised you wouldn't do the same. You promised.* 

"I know." 

"I love William. Please don't make me do this." His tears matched her own, tiny beads of light, shimmering amid the darkness of his face. 

"You have to." 

"Please." She didn't know whether the word was uttered by her or him. Perhaps both, each pleading for the same thing, each talking about different actions to get it. It was ironic really. It was how they'd always worked together. 

"You want me to leave?" 

"No." 

The word was more of a choked sob, wracking her tiny frame as she gasped for air. 

He was beside her in a second, her face buried in his chest, his arms holding her so tightly that she couldn't breathe. He was smothering her, and she never wanted him to let go. 

"I don't think I can live without you. I don't think I want to." He whispered into her hair, his tears dampening the auburn strands, darkening them like blood drying slowly over an open wound. They were both bleeding. 

"I know. There's no other option though. I'm sorry. So sorry." The words were barely coherent as she burrowed further into him, breathing him in, fingernails clasping at his back with a painful force. 

"Shhh." He soothed. 

"I love you." 

"Love you too." 

__

She awoke in the middle of the night, cocooned in her lover's arms, their legs tangled together. 

She always loved watching him when he was asleep, so peaceful, so serene. Tonight she found herself memorizing his features, transfixed by the play of the moonlight across his face. 

One eye opened slowly, hazed with sleep yet still shining with tears. 

"Hold me." She whispered. 

"I won't be gone long, I promise." 

"Just hold me." 

__

The packed bags that sat in her living room seemed to mock her with their finality. She felt as if she were being torn form the earth, the warm bundle in her arms her only anchor. 

The small child stretched out, grasping onto her necklace. _Have faith_ , he seemed to say. 

"Shh... it's okay baby. Daddy's just going away for a little while. It's going to be okay," she promised, the words more for herself than for William. 

"Hey." He greeted. 

"Hey yourself." Her tone was soft and her eyes were downcast. "You all packed?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay." 

There was nothing left to say. 

He was so near to her now, his breath on her face, his smell filling her senses. It was a scent that brought tears to her eyes. She wanted to bottle it. 

"You look after your mommy for me, alright little man." 

Looking away from the baby, he gazed at her with a watery smile. 

"I won't be gone long, I promise." 

"I know." She whispered, drowning in his eyes. 

He bent down and kissed her. It was an innocent kiss, like the one they had shared on New Year's Eve, so long ago. Chaste, perhaps, but filled with such emotion that she forgot how to breathe. 

Moving away, he picked up his bags and headed for the door. She was frozen to the spot, knowing that if she took him in her arms now, she'd never let go. She had to. Had to. 

"Be good." He teased, to her or the baby, she wasn't sure. Either way, the joke didn't reach his eyes. 

"I will." 

_Hold me and never let go_

"Good bye." 

_Stay_

"Bye." 

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End 

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All feedback is lovingly received   
  


#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to annaK


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